i'm a 20 year old mtf stuck in fucking iraqi kurdistan of all places and it feels so over for me
its not even that i cant pass im actively doing stuff to pass and took some estrogen when i was 15 years old so my height got stunted so i'm 5'7 but oh my fucking god immigration is so hard
i dont know how i can afford a college without my familys money and if they know itd be over for me
im not gonna get hired by a company for any special skills so its not like i can get a Employment based visa and a EB4 takes a MILLION DOLLARS just to fucking get
and suuure the diversity program exists but not everyone who's picked is allowed into the united states and even if i get picked it'll take two years and i'll propably be dead or kicked out or god knows what because it's not like years of consistent HRT would be fully hideable
my only saving grace has been that basically every medication i've ever asked for was immediately given to me without being asked for any type of prescribtion
utrogestan, Cypro, estrofem
i have everything but oh my GODDD immigrating to the united states feels like such a fucking pain but all my friends are there so i dont know what to do
im even afraid of letting go of my family since they're the only thing i've been able to trust to hold my hand through stuff even if it was to smack it and im afraid i would be completely lost in life and not know what to do after cutting them off
im not sure if online love would count as anything for marriage green cards and asylum applications not only take a year but im scared they'll reject me or not believe my story
i mean i have a journal that's logged basically all of high school for me and some screenshots of how my brother talked to me on steam but basically nothing else and if i get rejected even once that's going to stay on my record forever
i mean i could try other countries but like
my main goal is THE U.S
even though i know its a complete shitshow
what do